As noted in my last blog, my journey of late has lead me through some dark and twisted emotional pathways that have shaken me a bit. I am glad to say I have come out on the other side feeling more firmly planted on the foundation of Christ than ever before. That doesn’t mean I have been unaffected by the journey. I have faced up once again to the impossibilities of belief and the miracles of faith in the world of Post Modern Culture. I have asked the eternal questions again more seriously and more honestly than ever before. Questions like: does God exist? Is He the one that I have been “following” and “believing in” all of these years? How do the answers to these questions affect my life? What response is appropriate to these truths?

I want to record here some of the things I ended up with so that in future times I can come back to this and find strength:

Question 1: Does God exist? – There is no answer but yes. I see the beauty of all things around me. The order, the chaos, the depth, the love, the hate, the humanity and I have no other answer but yes. There is a God beyond this material world that shines through its clunky drabness with a golden light of glory that sings to every soul. It is Romans 1 – we all KNOW God we even know what He is like and those that have thrown Him off in order to “think more clearly” about things have thrown away the whole of clarity! No honest human being can say there is no God. This is more than just my belief it is the deepest truth of the human existence.

Question 2: Is He the one I have been following and believing in all these years? - This question is far more difficult, and I think we have to go two directions with it.
- Is the Christian God and indeed Jesus Himself the true God?
- Have I been following the Christian God?

I cannot escape Jesus; one man who upended the world in three years. Split time in half. Shook the greatest empire the world has ever seen to its foundations. Just Read His words. I have heard it said that no one can name a time when He should have said more or less than He did. He was so different than everything He encountered. So utterly “other than”. There has never been one like Jesus on the planet and until He returns there will not be again. He is the Son. He is the Logos. He is the “from, through and to” of all things. I cannot escape Jesus. He was either Lying – and that doesn’t make sense, or a Lunatic - and He obviously was NOT a lunatic, or He is Lord. He must be all He said He was because He cannot be otherwise. So yes is the answer to that first part, but what about the second?
Have I been following Jesus all this time? Ouch. I can only say….well… maybe. As I look back on my life I have no doubt that much of my “devotion” has been self motivated. I am a self centered person. There is no way around that and I know for an absolute FACT that I have miserably failed over and over again in my attempts to follow Him. The wonderful thing about Jesus is that He knew I would! He made provision for my mistakes AND my hypocrisy on the Cross! So long as I cling to His provision for my sin I have nothing to fear.

That is where I have landed thus far. I cannot say I am done questioning, but I am learning to enjoy the questions as much as the answers.

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