My weak flesh is so unable to be holy! God has lately been answering my prayers in wonderful ways. I pray to be Holy so God begins slowly and deeply opening my eyes to the reality of how UNHOLY I am and on how many levels!
The worst part about it all is the more I realize how UNHOLY I am, how deeply my brokenness really goes, the more I realize that until today I was blind to that brokenness. I walk around in my little and powerless life and wonder why I don’t have more of God. Then He reveals my complete misunderstandings of his character and kindness. He unveils my profound blindness to His Beauty and Glory which are to be praised forever. I see in that instant that not only am I blind but that in my heart of hearts I didn’t even KNOW I was blind! I was blind to my own blindness! Just as I think that I wonder HOW MUCH MORE BLINDNESS is in me!
No WONDER He treasures a heart that is poor in spirit!
NO WONDER He HATES self-righteousness and pride!
In these brief moments of lucidity which pass by SO quickly I realize that more of my heart is dedicated to building up my walls. The walls of lies and sin that tell me I am ok. The walls that tell me I am better than my brother. The walls that tell me what I am and what I do is enough.
Oh it is NOT enough!
It will NEVER BE enough!
Jesus is enough. What He did it is enough.
Hebrews 4:9 There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10 for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. 11 Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience. 12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
So then Lord teach me what it means to rest in what Jesus did. You will heal my blindness, but your Glory should not be terrible to me. It should be my deepest and most eternal joy. I love you!